Greetings again! On October 2 and 3, 2017, I made my latest visit to M.D. Anderson Cancer Center in Houston, Texas. It had been two years since my last visit.
Cutting to the chase--no evidence of disease. N.E.D. All tumor markers well within normal ranges, nothing unusual on the scans.
Diagnosed in 2009, MOAS in January 2010. So it has been just about 8 years of cancer-free living. Had a mini-reunion with a couple of appendix cancer friends, which was wonderful. Good people.
Anyhow, my next visit will be in two years.
If you happen to find this site, I think the basic advice points from my old posts (links along the right side of this page) still hold true: Get multiple opinions. Do not go to a doctor who is NOT an appendix cancer specialist, even if you have have to travel. You get one chance to do this right. Treatments may change a bit, but that 8 year old advice is still valid.
If you send me a message, put your email in the message so I can respond.
Good luck. Onwards!
Dan
Wednesday, October 11, 2017
Thursday, January 8, 2015
5 years....
Not sure if anyone reads this blog anymore, but in case anyone is doing initial research and stumbles across it: Today is my 5 year anniversary. Or birthday, or cancer-versary, whatever you want to call it. Whatever, it's been five years since my MOAS and HIPEC. So far, so good. Scans have all been clear, markers in range.
Not much else you can ask for, right?
Things that have happened to me since January 8, 2010:
Not much else you can ask for, right?
Things that have happened to me since January 8, 2010:
- Met and married the most wonderful woman I can imagine.
- Kids have grown by five years, into healthy, happy, fun teenagers.
- Celebrated 5 Christmases with my family.
- Became a college president (what?)
- Working on sending my daughter off to college in the fall.
- I make dinners for my family most every night, we do things like watch dumb TV shows together, take great family vacations to Florida, Mexico, Door County, House of the Rock, all sorts of fun, and we experience the joys and, yes, stresses and worries of growing up and old together.
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Latest check-up: all clear
A few weeks ago I visited Dr. Fournier in Houston, at M.D. Anderson. Blood and scans were all clear. Not a hint of re-occurrence.
Not much else to report, but I'm posting this for those people that still find this blog when researching appendix cancer, so they know everything went well for me. I remember finding blogs or sites that just kind of tailed off... made me wonder and worry.
So, the big surgery was January 2010, and here I am in September 2013. I haven't forgotten the experience, but all is well.
Dan
Not much else to report, but I'm posting this for those people that still find this blog when researching appendix cancer, so they know everything went well for me. I remember finding blogs or sites that just kind of tailed off... made me wonder and worry.
So, the big surgery was January 2010, and here I am in September 2013. I haven't forgotten the experience, but all is well.
Dan
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
All is well here...
It's been a while since I posted, but I don't have much to report! At least PMP-wise. I feel great. My health is fantastic, and I have minimal residual effects from my experience. Some left-over pain, scar tissue stuff. I get tired occasionally, most likely from ineffective digestion. I think. No way I'm going to complain about that!
Anyhow, there's been a big spike in hits on this blog in the past few weeks, so I thought I should post a positive update! Any questions, or any way I can help? Contact me through the comments or through my profile.
Best,
Dan
Anyhow, there's been a big spike in hits on this blog in the past few weeks, so I thought I should post a positive update! Any questions, or any way I can help? Contact me through the comments or through my profile.
Best,
Dan
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Clean scans....
See you next year, MD Anderson.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Bates,Houston,United States
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Annual Check-Up
I don't think many people read this blog anymore, and that's okay. I'm only keeping it alive for those people who are newly diagnosed (or their caregivers), for when they are desperately googling for help. I've tried to link to the standard, good resources.
Anyhow, I arrived in Houston this morning, tests tomorrow, results Tuesday morning. My MOAS was January 8, 2010. So 2.67 years ago, or so.
I haven't been down here in a year. It is a bit unnerving, I guess, to be back. Probably always will be. But it is also a moment to reflect, in a positive way. I have to remember that!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Anyhow, I arrived in Houston this morning, tests tomorrow, results Tuesday morning. My MOAS was January 8, 2010. So 2.67 years ago, or so.
I haven't been down here in a year. It is a bit unnerving, I guess, to be back. Probably always will be. But it is also a moment to reflect, in a positive way. I have to remember that!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:Holcombe Blvd,Houston,United States
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
See you later, buddy.
Well, the past several days have sucked. Rarely does a man of the cloth bring good news when he knocks on your door past bedtime. Troy W. Tousey.
I had the honor of being one of the speakers at his memorial service. Some random thoughts: Sheboygan, obviously being a good place to live, seems to be a good place to die, too. The number of friends and neighbors who swarmed Marci and the twins was unbelievable. They had the right mix of hugging, sympathy, etc. with digging in and getting shit done. Rev. Jim and Rev. Julia (UCC) were and are incredible. Troy and Marci's families, you guessed it, fantastic.
Terribly, terribly sad--but I think I left the service somehow feeling uplifted, and motivated. Weird, but what else can you do?
Damn. I'll miss this guy. Rev. Jim said it best: "He was the coolest guy we knew." More than a few beers were shared over deep conversations. Enjoy seeing the universe, buddy. We'll keep an eye on the kids, that's what the neighborhood is for, right?
Thursday, May 24, 2012
This blog is Google's number 1 link if you search for barium sulfate suspension banana.
I'm so proud.
Dan
PS: Also the number one hit for is the ukraine government hiding something about Chernoybl. WTF? But for PMP doctor I'm ranked number 2 with Google Australia! Hello down there. Same for red balloon hallucination, ranked No. 2 in the US and UK. (Who searches for that, really?)
I'm so proud.
Dan
PS: Also the number one hit for is the ukraine government hiding something about Chernoybl. WTF? But for PMP doctor I'm ranked number 2 with Google Australia! Hello down there. Same for red balloon hallucination, ranked No. 2 in the US and UK. (Who searches for that, really?)
Friday, March 16, 2012
Dear Anonymous
I couldn't respond directly to you because you commented anonymously. I just wanted to say I hope your husband continues to do well, and thanks for the note! Dan
Friday, February 24, 2012
Hot Chemo (HIPEC)
Check this out--Calgary's own Caylee, on the youtube (it seems as though from a local news program?). Hi Caylee, you look great!
This is a good video, it will provide some solid information about the process.
This is a good video, it will provide some solid information about the process.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Happy 2nd Birthday!
Two years ago was my big surgery. I feel great. Last fall I was put on a once a year scan schedule for monitoring purposes, and my health is excellent--better than it has been in years, even before cancer.
A big thanks to everyone--my parents and siblings and the rest of my family and friends! There is no way I can every repay everyone for what they did for me.
No scans or doctor visits until next September.
Later. Much to do.
Dan
A big thanks to everyone--my parents and siblings and the rest of my family and friends! There is no way I can every repay everyone for what they did for me.
No scans or doctor visits until next September.
Later. Much to do.
Dan
Friday, November 11, 2011
25,000
That's the number of visits to this blog in almost exactly two years. November 13, 2009, is the date of my first post.
Lucky number 25,000 is a visitor connecting from Florida. Hello, Florida!
[I deleted a comment I made about t a t t o o s being like 8% of my search hits, because that was compounding the problem!!]
Regardless, the majority the search terms that lead people to my site are not surprising: PMP, Keith Fournier (my doctor), HIPEC, appendix cancer, etc.
Happy Nigel Tufnel 11/11/11 Day!
Lucky number 25,000 is a visitor connecting from Florida. Hello, Florida!
[I deleted a comment I made about t a t t o o s being like 8% of my search hits, because that was compounding the problem!!]
Regardless, the majority the search terms that lead people to my site are not surprising: PMP, Keith Fournier (my doctor), HIPEC, appendix cancer, etc.
Happy Nigel Tufnel 11/11/11 Day!
Thursday, November 10, 2011
Sheboygan
This article rings pretty true. I like it here.
SHEBOYGAN, WIS. — In a lakefront town perhaps best known for its jaunty name and mouth-watering smoked bratwursts, there’s a new claim to fame: the most equal city in America.
According to the latest statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau, the city and suburbs of Sheboygan, Wis., have the smallest gap between the rich and poor of any metropolitan area in the United States.
While Occupy Wall Street protesters rail against the runaway wealth of the upper crust, here the top 5 percent take home a much smaller proportion of the region’s wealth (16 percent) than in the U.S. at large (22 percent). To talk hard numbers, the top 20 percent of Sheboygan County makes a median income of $127,440, while the general workforce makes around $50,000.
In fact, the city’s Gini score — a measure of income inequality on a scale from 0 to 100, with bigger wealth gaps measuring higher on the scale — is 39, lying closer to Canada’s figure (32) than that of the U.S. as a whole (47).
Residents say the city reminds them of how America used to be, when there was no such thing as a “middle-class crisis.”
“I guess I am not real surprised,” wrote Helene Capizzi of the Sheboygan Public Library in an email to The Daily. “Sheboygan reminds me a lot of what it was like to grow up in Milwaukee in the ’60s. We’re always a decade or two behind the trends, but I think that’s what we like!”
Indeed, visitors to this modest, quaint town might be excused for thinking they stepped out of a time machine from the Eisenhower or Kennedy years. Here, polka bands still draw crowds in the summer, parents safely let their kids roam unsupervised and busy manufacturers keep pumping out goods proudly “made in the USA.”
While employment in the relatively well-paying manufacturing sector has plummeted nationally, now accounting for less than 10 percent of jobs, in Sheboygan, one-third of workers hold jobs with manufacturing firms that produce everything from plastic wares to shower heads for luxury spas.
Kohler, the household name in plumbing products, is headquartered in its namesake city outside Sheboygan and is the area’s biggest private employer. Other local companies include Vollrath (maker of stainless steel cooking ware) and Bemis (toilet-seat manufacturer), which employ hundreds of workers each.
Partly as a result of the area’s still-healthy industrial base, the unemployment and poverty rates are lower than in America as a whole.
“It’s pretty much a middle-class town,” said Myron Rabinowitz, 62, who owned a steel company in Sheboygan for decades. “There’s not an abundance of wealth. Most people are middle-class workers.”
This egalitarianism is visibly on display at the Sheboygan Yacht Club — an institution that in other places might be synonymous with wealth, exclusivity, even snobbery. Here, on the stunning western shore of Lake Michigan, the roughly 400 members of the yacht club come from all economic backgrounds.
“It’s a working man’s club,” said Rolf Simonson, 68, the “commodore” (i.e., president) of the club. “You can’t just buy your way in. Everyone who joins has to put in their 50 hours. You get all walks of life: You get the factory guy at Kohler, you get the president of some company. … When you’re working in the boatyard, you’re the same as everyone else.”
Simonson, a retired pediatrician, lives in the town of Kohler, which is seen as the relatively more affluent suburb of Sheboygan. Though a few luxury homes can cost a half-million dollars or more, an attractive house in Kohler can be had for $200,000 or less, according to current listings. (Many homes in Sheboygan proper cost roughly half that.)
Because of this lack of real-estate extremes, some residents struggled even to identify the bad parts of town. “We don’t have good and bad neighborhoods,” said Simonson. “You might find a bad house next to a nice one.”
The city retains vibrant local traditions, such as Friday Night Fish Frys at nearby taverns, and “Brat Days,” a festival held since 1953 in celebration of sausages. “People here really like tradition,” said Capizzi. “I think we are very community-minded. I always call it a big, small town.”
Like the small towns of yesteryear, Sheboygan also prides itself on being exceptionally free of violent crime. In 2009, the city was ranked as the second-safest in America out of 332 metropolitan areas. Outsiders covet the city’s relative safety. Jason Bull, 39, the principal of Sheboygan’s North High School, said he moved to the area from Milwaukee partly because he and his wife “wanted our kids to run loose and not have so many concerns.”
The public school system also remains a point of pride. With 10,000 students, the Sheboygan Area School District exceeded state averages in test scores for 10th-graders in multiple categories, including math.
“What makes the school good is that parents are invested, they care,” Bull said. “The saying ‘It takes a community to raise a child’ is embraced in Sheboygan more than in other places.”
Simonson boasted that the public schools were good enough so that “here, rich people don’t send their kids to some academy somewhere.”
The spirit of engagement extends to volunteering. Marilyn Montemayor, 70, has served as an alderman, a library board member and a teacher of French cooking at the art museum. Mary Eckardt, 61, a lifelong resident, said she volunteered at a women’s shelter and a retirement home.
Not that the town is without problems. In the late 1990s, Bull estimated, the percentage of students on free or reduced lunches was in the “high teens, low 20s.” Now, Bull said that figure was 37 percent.
“We have seen an increase in transient-type families coming to the school,” he said. “The economy, the world, America, it all affects Sheboygan.”
Signs of economic distress are also apparent at the public library, a bustling three-story building downtown. One display covers the theme, “Thrifty Living,” and showcases books such as “Two Incomes and Still Broke?” and “Save Now or Die Trying.”
And the beer-loving city has lately been in the grip of a booze-fueled political scandal. Mayor Bob Ryan, an alcoholic who has lapsed repeatedly, faces a possible recall election after going on a three-day bender this summer that ended in a bar fight. Citizens have gathered more than 4,000 signatures in support of recalling Ryan, despite widespread sympathy for his vice. “You’d be surprised how many people think it’s no big deal because everyone gets drunk,” said Capizzi.
But even as Sheboygan faces uncertain times, locals are proud that their fortunes generally rise and fall in tandem. Montemayor noted that while the economy was tough, “most people have taken the ride down together.”
This is perhaps one reason why inequality has come to the fore: Many Occupy Wall Street protesters wish the country could return to more egalitarian times — not only in terms of economics, but also in terms of political influence.
Katherine Curtis, a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, told The Daily that “when we see a community with less inequality, what that means is that there’s less likelihood of polarization. We might have differing views, but the distribution of power is not so extreme.”
That seems to be how the residents of Sheboygan like it.
“We may not fly with the eagles at the best of times,” Simonson mused, gazing out at the harbor, “but we don’t go down when times are bad.”
http://www.thedaily.com/page/2011/11/06/110611-news-equality-city-1-6/
SHEBOYGAN, WIS. — In a lakefront town perhaps best known for its jaunty name and mouth-watering smoked bratwursts, there’s a new claim to fame: the most equal city in America.
According to the latest statistics from the U.S. Census Bureau, the city and suburbs of Sheboygan, Wis., have the smallest gap between the rich and poor of any metropolitan area in the United States.
While Occupy Wall Street protesters rail against the runaway wealth of the upper crust, here the top 5 percent take home a much smaller proportion of the region’s wealth (16 percent) than in the U.S. at large (22 percent). To talk hard numbers, the top 20 percent of Sheboygan County makes a median income of $127,440, while the general workforce makes around $50,000.
In fact, the city’s Gini score — a measure of income inequality on a scale from 0 to 100, with bigger wealth gaps measuring higher on the scale — is 39, lying closer to Canada’s figure (32) than that of the U.S. as a whole (47).
Residents say the city reminds them of how America used to be, when there was no such thing as a “middle-class crisis.”
“I guess I am not real surprised,” wrote Helene Capizzi of the Sheboygan Public Library in an email to The Daily. “Sheboygan reminds me a lot of what it was like to grow up in Milwaukee in the ’60s. We’re always a decade or two behind the trends, but I think that’s what we like!”
Indeed, visitors to this modest, quaint town might be excused for thinking they stepped out of a time machine from the Eisenhower or Kennedy years. Here, polka bands still draw crowds in the summer, parents safely let their kids roam unsupervised and busy manufacturers keep pumping out goods proudly “made in the USA.”
While employment in the relatively well-paying manufacturing sector has plummeted nationally, now accounting for less than 10 percent of jobs, in Sheboygan, one-third of workers hold jobs with manufacturing firms that produce everything from plastic wares to shower heads for luxury spas.
Kohler, the household name in plumbing products, is headquartered in its namesake city outside Sheboygan and is the area’s biggest private employer. Other local companies include Vollrath (maker of stainless steel cooking ware) and Bemis (toilet-seat manufacturer), which employ hundreds of workers each.
Partly as a result of the area’s still-healthy industrial base, the unemployment and poverty rates are lower than in America as a whole.
“It’s pretty much a middle-class town,” said Myron Rabinowitz, 62, who owned a steel company in Sheboygan for decades. “There’s not an abundance of wealth. Most people are middle-class workers.”
This egalitarianism is visibly on display at the Sheboygan Yacht Club — an institution that in other places might be synonymous with wealth, exclusivity, even snobbery. Here, on the stunning western shore of Lake Michigan, the roughly 400 members of the yacht club come from all economic backgrounds.
“It’s a working man’s club,” said Rolf Simonson, 68, the “commodore” (i.e., president) of the club. “You can’t just buy your way in. Everyone who joins has to put in their 50 hours. You get all walks of life: You get the factory guy at Kohler, you get the president of some company. … When you’re working in the boatyard, you’re the same as everyone else.”
Simonson, a retired pediatrician, lives in the town of Kohler, which is seen as the relatively more affluent suburb of Sheboygan. Though a few luxury homes can cost a half-million dollars or more, an attractive house in Kohler can be had for $200,000 or less, according to current listings. (Many homes in Sheboygan proper cost roughly half that.)
Because of this lack of real-estate extremes, some residents struggled even to identify the bad parts of town. “We don’t have good and bad neighborhoods,” said Simonson. “You might find a bad house next to a nice one.”
The city retains vibrant local traditions, such as Friday Night Fish Frys at nearby taverns, and “Brat Days,” a festival held since 1953 in celebration of sausages. “People here really like tradition,” said Capizzi. “I think we are very community-minded. I always call it a big, small town.”
Like the small towns of yesteryear, Sheboygan also prides itself on being exceptionally free of violent crime. In 2009, the city was ranked as the second-safest in America out of 332 metropolitan areas. Outsiders covet the city’s relative safety. Jason Bull, 39, the principal of Sheboygan’s North High School, said he moved to the area from Milwaukee partly because he and his wife “wanted our kids to run loose and not have so many concerns.”
The public school system also remains a point of pride. With 10,000 students, the Sheboygan Area School District exceeded state averages in test scores for 10th-graders in multiple categories, including math.
“What makes the school good is that parents are invested, they care,” Bull said. “The saying ‘It takes a community to raise a child’ is embraced in Sheboygan more than in other places.”
Simonson boasted that the public schools were good enough so that “here, rich people don’t send their kids to some academy somewhere.”
The spirit of engagement extends to volunteering. Marilyn Montemayor, 70, has served as an alderman, a library board member and a teacher of French cooking at the art museum. Mary Eckardt, 61, a lifelong resident, said she volunteered at a women’s shelter and a retirement home.
Not that the town is without problems. In the late 1990s, Bull estimated, the percentage of students on free or reduced lunches was in the “high teens, low 20s.” Now, Bull said that figure was 37 percent.
“We have seen an increase in transient-type families coming to the school,” he said. “The economy, the world, America, it all affects Sheboygan.”
Signs of economic distress are also apparent at the public library, a bustling three-story building downtown. One display covers the theme, “Thrifty Living,” and showcases books such as “Two Incomes and Still Broke?” and “Save Now or Die Trying.”
And the beer-loving city has lately been in the grip of a booze-fueled political scandal. Mayor Bob Ryan, an alcoholic who has lapsed repeatedly, faces a possible recall election after going on a three-day bender this summer that ended in a bar fight. Citizens have gathered more than 4,000 signatures in support of recalling Ryan, despite widespread sympathy for his vice. “You’d be surprised how many people think it’s no big deal because everyone gets drunk,” said Capizzi.
But even as Sheboygan faces uncertain times, locals are proud that their fortunes generally rise and fall in tandem. Montemayor noted that while the economy was tough, “most people have taken the ride down together.”
This is perhaps one reason why inequality has come to the fore: Many Occupy Wall Street protesters wish the country could return to more egalitarian times — not only in terms of economics, but also in terms of political influence.
Katherine Curtis, a sociologist at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, told The Daily that “when we see a community with less inequality, what that means is that there’s less likelihood of polarization. We might have differing views, but the distribution of power is not so extreme.”
That seems to be how the residents of Sheboygan like it.
“We may not fly with the eagles at the best of times,” Simonson mused, gazing out at the harbor, “but we don’t go down when times are bad.”
http://www.thedaily.com/page/2011/11/06/110611-news-equality-city-1-6/
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Appendilooza
I returned from Houston last week, from my latest check-up. No evidence of disease (NED is my friend!) and tumor markers are all well below safe levels. My doctor is considering letting me go a full year without a scan, rather than 4 or 6 months. Which would be great, given the levels of radiation emitted by CT machines. So, now I can push this out of my mind for a while.... After a few more words, right?
I'll refer you to this post by Ivanna (click HERE) for details on the trip and an impromptu gathering of friends in Houston, an event she named "Appendilooza." Ivanna is a real writer--very thoughtful, and she managed to capture in writing the essence of two quick days we spent together. I don't think I could have explained all the feelings the way she did. I hereby adopt her post as my own.
It felt right to meet these people face-to-face. Randy and his lovely wife Caroline (Houston) are new friends, but I've known Ivanna (Austin) and Val (Kansas City) for a while, and it seems like we are old friends.
I've met a number of people with appendix cancer and/or their caregivers, in addition to these friends, and we follow our respective ups and downs closely. It can get quite emotional. It seems like a month does not go by without someone passing away. Maybe I did not know them well, but it is sad all the same. But, on the other hand, we all celebrate the annual check-up and "all clear" results, and I love to hear the stories of people years out from the surgery, living healthy lives.
So, what would a trip be without some random pictures?
And how could a guy like me NOT pull over when the sign says TEXAS PRISON MUSEUM. This is "Old Sparky":
Below is only part (!!) of my cousin John's Star Wars collection. John lives near Fort Worth with his lovely wife Tammy (an awesome cook!) and his 10 year old son Joseph--who paid me the ultimate compliment, saying I looked like either Han Solo or Indiana Jones.
 |
| Ivanna, Caroline (Randy's spouse), Randy, Val, and me. |
It felt right to meet these people face-to-face. Randy and his lovely wife Caroline (Houston) are new friends, but I've known Ivanna (Austin) and Val (Kansas City) for a while, and it seems like we are old friends.
I've met a number of people with appendix cancer and/or their caregivers, in addition to these friends, and we follow our respective ups and downs closely. It can get quite emotional. It seems like a month does not go by without someone passing away. Maybe I did not know them well, but it is sad all the same. But, on the other hand, we all celebrate the annual check-up and "all clear" results, and I love to hear the stories of people years out from the surgery, living healthy lives.
So, what would a trip be without some random pictures?
And how could a guy like me NOT pull over when the sign says TEXAS PRISON MUSEUM. This is "Old Sparky":
Below is only part (!!) of my cousin John's Star Wars collection. John lives near Fort Worth with his lovely wife Tammy (an awesome cook!) and his 10 year old son Joseph--who paid me the ultimate compliment, saying I looked like either Han Solo or Indiana Jones.
I spent a night in Dallas at the house of my Uncle Terry and Aunt Nancy, who have been big supporters over the past few years. I am eternally indebted to them for their constant "checking in" on me when I was ill.
And if you've been following my blog, you know that wherever I am, I like to eat like the locals...this was just off the interstate, somewhere between Dallas and Houston.
 |
| chopped BBQ beef, beans, and a sweet tea |
Change of topic, kind of: I'm a big fan of Roger Ebert. I read his movie reviews and his blog, and follow him on Twitter. Ebert is a cancer survivor too, and he has written very eloquently about the experience, and also wrote an incredible essay about being alone which I bookmarked and still occasionally read.
One of his recent blog entries really grabbed me: "Films that are not for the dying so much..." In it he comments on two recent films about falling in love when you have cancer. I had not heard of one of the films, but the other, titled "50/50," is getting a lot of buzz. I think I'll try to see it, I'm not sure. Watching shows or movies about cancer can be kind of tough (I am going to a funeral for a co-worker/friend tomorrow, and he died of cancer; we were going through our respective treatments at the same time--I don't know how I'll react). But I do like Seth Rogan.
Anyhow, please read that essay by Ebert. In particular I enjoy that he mentions how the patients in these two films "have a great deal of time do so romantic things and occupy touching spaces and talk as if they had more time." He contrasts that movie world with the reality of what cancer patients and their loved ones actually go through, including a very touching tribute to his caregiver/wife....
Here's the trailer for one of those movies. (Joseph Gordon-Levitt's character's attractive, female therapist is like, what, 19 years old?)
Okay, time to go back to living my life.... I don't want this experience to outwardly define me. I know it is a part of me and always will be, and I'm strangely thankful for that, but there's more to life than just this.
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